Akatsuki Inserts
by Supernatural Crossover Girl
Summary: One shot series about inserts who are related to one of the Akatsuki members.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Akatsuki Inserts

**Summery: **One shot series about inserts who are related to one of the Akatsuki members.

* * *

**I**

Being reborn isn't something she really wants to remember, thank you. You try waking up in someone's stomach, and later being shoved out of the vagina. It's fucking scary.

Being reborn into a damn manga isn't great either, but she can handle that. She's faced her own load of weirdness before, she barely bats an eye to things anymore. It's more who she's related to that worries her.

It's the crazy priest! How can she not worry?

**II**

Hidan is every bit as blood thirsty as a kid, as he was in adult hood. He kills the house cat by skinning it alive, and then gutting it, ripping it's guts out and staining the carpet red. He torments the kids around the neighbourhood, and kills the pets many kids have.

However, he seems to deeply care for her. He's the one to watch her when their mother is out, he reads her stories, plays with her, and is the one who sits with her after a nightmare. He is a a psycho, but... he's her aniki. He's a great big brother.

And she isn't really stable either.

**III**

It's a chemical imbalance, she's fairly certain. She was a little crazy in her first life, with her being obsessed with bombs and fireworks, but she was never like this.

"Okay Bijou, now you take the knife-" Hidan instructs, as they skin a dog. The boy next door told Hidan that he was stupid because he couldn't read the words properly in class, ignoring the fact Hidan was dyslexic. As payback, their killing his puppy, a three month old one with big blue eyes and adorable floppy ears.

As she skins the animal, alive, she feels a sick sense of glee override her screaming conscious. It's not that big anymore, and she finds that she prefers being praised by Hidan more valuable then having it hang around.

**IV**

"Bijou!" her mother calls one day, when she's trying to rip her dolls head off. Sighing, she obeys, walking over to her mother. "I want you to meet Ayame, and her son, Chi." Chi is a rat faced boy, who seems to sneer seeing her. His mother is decked out in finery and looks down her nose at Bijou, in her trousers and shirt. "I bet your going to be the. Best. Of. Friends." Her mother hisses, gripping Bijou's shoulder tighty.

Bijou isn't stupid. She knows exactly what her mother plans: Be friends with this kid because his mother is rich. Maybe marry him later.

Her mother is a widow, with little cash. Bijou is just a bargaining piece.

She sends Chi home crying after he sees her rip off her dolls head, and cut off it's limbs, grinning the entire time.

Hidan finds it hilarious, when he comes home from the Academy. Her mother glares at her.

Bijou can't help it if the boy was a cry baby.

**V**

She joins the academy without her mother's permission, and finds herself bored. Hidan leaves his textbooks around the house, and she often reads them. As such, she takes to playing with the kunai, and devising ways to murder her teacher, and classmates.

The girl next to her reads one of her plans, and faints dead away. The teacher pales when he reads it, and she's marched to the Kage.

He puts her in her brothers grade, much to that teacher's horror.

**VI **

Joining Jashinism wasn't something she was to interested in, after their mother died. (Natural causes. Hidan and Bijou both loved her, even if she did drive them both mad.) However, Hidan dragged her there, both recent graduates, because he heard that there would be a sacrifice, and he wanted to see.

"Come on Bi, it'll be awesome!" Hidan said, grinning crazily, running a hand through his brown locks.

"It won't be a human, baka." scoffed Bijou, dodging the kunai, and striking out with her own weapon. Hidan glared at her.

"For me?" he finally asked, and Bijou agreed then, following him into the temple.

She wasn't expecting to fall in love with the religion then.

**VII**

Jashinism is not only about death and sinners and the such. It's a religion that is partly based on the one true principle of a Shinobi's life: Killing is what they are best at, and pretending otherwise is just stupid. There is no honor in a shinobi's life, only death.

But, it is also about life. With each death, the world is a little less full, making way for the new life to be reborn. That is in fact the true reason for the religion For there to be always a way for new life to live. The rituals Jashinist use when they kill, mark the soul. This mark makes it easier to be reincarnated, so that life can always continue.

Jashinists are protectors of the life cycle. There will always be life, as long as a Jashinist is alive.

**VIII**

Hidan is twenty-one when he goes through the rituals to make him a true Jashinist. She is nineteen, a month after he does. The first thing that happens is her skin goes pale, and her eyes turn purple. Her hair is now a silvery color, just like Hidan's is now.

The two are the crown jewels of Yugakure, killers who never fail a mission. It continues on, through the years, until it happens.

**IX**

Yugakure decides to become a peaceful village, instead of a Hidden one. Bijou accepts it, but Hidan does not. He is furious, and slaughters their neighbors, in the name of Jashin.

They turn on Bijou, forcing her to flee the village, as they burn the church. She hears the screams of the others as they burn alive inside. She prays for them, begs for a rebirth for them, as she runs.

**X**

Bijou wanders, killing and recycling the souls needed to do so, and just murdering the rest. She wanders, and wonders about her brother. Part of her wishes for his death, the other part wishes to join him, where she can kill and help the cycle. She doesn't though, and remains a wanderer, as she travels, around and around and around.

She wanders into Suna one day, using her old travel papers, date changed slightly to hide how old she is. She walks around the place, ignoring the stares for her shirt, or lack of one really. She sees, sitting on the swings, a little red headed boy. She watches, as he hugs a teddy bear, watching the others play. A pang beats in her, as she remembers what will happen, in the future. She remembers what will happen to the little boy, with the red hair.

She shouldn't, but she does. She walks up to him, sitting on the swing beside him. He eyes her sickle, strapped to her waist and connected to a long chain.

"Kon'nichiwa, my name is Bijou." she says, smiling. He looks at her with big eyes, before hesitantly answering,

"My name is Gaara."

**XI**

She has an endless amount of people to kill, with the fucking Kazekage trying to kill his own child. She enjoys ripping them apart, only a few being worthy of rebirth. Gaara is fascinated with her religion, and she teaches him all she can. She cannot put him through the rituals, but she prays for him every night, hoping that Jashin will take mercy on him when the time is right.

She kills his uncle rather quickly, before he can reveal himself. She threatens to kill the Kazekage if he reveals who the man was. When the Kage tries to kill her, she takes the sword to the heart... and murders his guards.

"Gaara is my little demon, you bastard." she snarls, grabbing him by his stupid robes, and yanking him to her face. "I won't let you hurt him."

There are no more assassins after that.

**XII**

It was bound to happen, Gaara meeting his siblings. At first, they are scared of him, but as time goes on, they become closer and closer. Bijou keeps a close eye on them, her sickle ready to kill if anyone hurts them. She is the best bodyguard they could have, and she works for free, a reason the Kazekage, for all his fear of her, lets her stay in the village.

When Temari get sick, Bijou works tirelessly, making her soup, getting her blankets...

In the fever daze, the pigtailed girl calls her mama. Gaara hears it, and begins to call the white haired woman that. Bijou pretends she doesn't like it, but the smile she hides is seen by Kankuro, who laughs.

**XIII**

She runs into Hidan one day. Her kids are with her, after she told the Kazekage she was taking them on a trip because she needed to preform some sacrifices. She thought they would enjoy a vacation while she murdered some people. She quickly introduced the kids to her brother, who likes being an Uncle.

He particularly likes teaching them interesting ways to murder people.

**XIV**

She faces the upcoming exam with a blank face. She's the sensei of the kids, and while she already knows the fate of their invasion, she still goes along with it.

More blood to spill for Jashin-sama.

**XV**

Is this... death? She wonders as she chokes on her own blood. She didn't know what had happened, just that she was jumped from behind and stabbed with a blessed dagger, which had never been used before. It was one of the few true ways to kill a Jashinist.

Fucking Kazekage, damn it, she couldn't breath-

"Kaa-san!" Gaara is kneeling beside her, good. She had to tell him- "Don't die Kaa-san."

"With a death there is a life. With a life there is a death." she croaked out. "Such is the law of Jashin, such is the law of the world." They were her last words, before she closed her eyes for the very last time as Bijou.

**XVI**

She reopens them looking up at a familiar face, looking tired but pleased. She's so much older then the last time she saw her...

"What will we name her?" an unfamiliar boy asks, as he sits beside her. Temari smiles at her daughter, and gives her a name close to her heart,

"Bijou. We'll name her Bijou."

Well... looks like she keeps her name. Good, she'd get confused otherwise.

* * *

Heh... this was fun to write.

Note: I will not do Itachi in here because All the World's A Stage is related to him. Obito will get his own chapter though, but Pein and Konan may end up sharing a chapter.

I will post these in groups of two, but don't expect master pieces, I'm writing these as a way to get rid of writers block, so some may end up not well written, or cut off really quick because I lost inspiration.

If you want, you can use one of the characters I create and make your own story with them- I just want to read what you write.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: ** Akatsuki Inserts

**Summery: **One shot series about inserts who are related to one of the Akatsuki members.

* * *

Kimi went through the normal stages of finding out she was reincarnated; Stunned disbelief, then excitement. Her life hadn't changed much from her first ne either: her mother was still a whore, and they lived in a small bar in the middle of nowhere.

The only things that really changed was the language, her name, and the fact that this mother loved her.

-0-

Discovering her new life is inside a anime she watched as a teenager, is amusing. It's a world where people walk on walls and kill things with magic powers. Why wouldn't she be amused?

She's just glad they aren't in a ninja village, she ain't becoming a ninja. She'd never been a fighter, she was simply a book keeper. There were more parts to the underground then people realized, and she had been part of it since she first gained an interest in money. She knew how to make, and how to break money.

All she needed to do was wait, she'd become rich soon enough. All types passed through brothels, she'd see someone soon enough to help her.

-0-

She figures out who her father is when she looks into a mirror. Red sclera and green iris-less pupils kind of give it away. Her black hair does to, being stringy like it is.

She is surprised that Kakuzu would sleep with a whore, but she thinks that it's best to stop that line of thinking, especially when she compares his threads to tentacles.

Yes, best to stop right there.

-0-

She's six, when she ends up becoming part of the staff in the bar part of the brothel.

She reported the old cashier who would steal money from the place. She ends up running the till, while Jin, the guy who owns the place, tries to find a new worker. He never does, and they find that her skill with business is astronomical, as she suggests new things to buy for the place to make it more popular.

She takes most of the ideas from her old life, refitted to work with what they had. Her ideas bring in more people, and when she suggests, after she's sure there is enough, redoing the place a bit so ninja would be fine with coming around once in a while, they have an increase in ninja customers.

She finds it amusing that no one notices she's skimming about a grand off the total profits, but Jin really sucks at business, and she never uses the money.

Not yet.

-0-

She goes through her years in the brothel rather normally. She works the till, skims off the money, and puts it away, waiting for her chance, which comes when she is ten.

She meets a black-market dealer, dealing several drugs to ninja that work like steroids, or like the drugs from her world, except with much more dangerous side affects. Many are on them, and it is a cozy business.

She gets in on the action, buying several bags of it, and selling it to ninja who visit the brothel. She uses the same mindset she had in her old life: if they buy it, their idiots, and idiots don't really deserve to live.

Her mother, Kasumi, knows what's going on, but lets her do it, petting her daughters head and hugging her when Kimi needs it. Jin is getting old anyway, and he has no heir to the brothel.

Kimi is a criminal, but she's rich because of it, and that what makes all the difference.

-0-

Kimi becomes the owner of the Brothel at age fifteen, when Jin dies, and she takes over the entire place, buying off the lawyers and others. The workers don't care, and instead help her, as the little brothel becomes the Roadhouse, a fond joke for her, as she gets into contact with a bounty office, and adds a secret office into the back, where a man works, handing out cash for bounties.

It means more ninja, and more traffic, meaning more money. Some workers don't want to sleep with the clients anymore, and they become waitresses, or she turns them into strippers, the first in the ninja world.

She meets Jiraiya and Minato then, learning she is only three years younger then the blonde man. Jiraiya is very into the scene, while Minato looks uncomfortable.

She tells him that he can go into the kitchen, and stay there if he wants, he just can't bother the cooks. He flashes her a grin, and takes the offer, ignoring the teasing from Jiraiya. Kimi just smirks, as he says he owes her a favor.

Having a future Hokage owe you a favor is a good idea.

And he's pretty cute, so why not?

-0-

Making a spy network is difficult, but she manages. No ninja pays attention to civilians, as most civilians aren't 'worthy' of being noticed. She also has some favors she calls in from ninja, missing nin mostly, but still, ninja.

The systems lets her hear it, when it happens. She knows, right away, when Sakumo's mission goes south. She makes sure her bar is known as neutral, even cashing in on a favor Jiraiya owed her. She has a seal array, when activated, shuts off any ninja's chakra placed around her bar. When the war breaks out, she declares her and her bar neutral, and keeps it that way through the bar.

She puts a few ninja in their places, when they try and take over anyway. Activating the seal, sapping them of Chakra, often puts them out of sorts. They rely on chakra to much, it's rather easy to throw a knife hard enough to kill them. Or she just beats the crap out of them.

-0-

The Roadhouse grows and grows during the war, and friendships are formed. Some grow to call Kimi a friend, though she doesn't return the favor. She has no friends, only business partners, or those who owe her favors.

"Hey, Kimi-chan." Minato says, sitting down at the bar, a pretty redhead beside him.

"Hello Minato-kun, Kushina-chan." she says, flashing a smile. "What can I do for you two?"

"We're getting married!" Kushina squeals. Kimi smiles, though she already knows. One of her spies is an ANBU who was following the couple when it happened.

"Congratulations! When's the wedding?"

"In a month." confirmed Minato, holding his fiance's hand. "But, we were wondering, can we have the wedding here?"

"...This place?" she looked at the stage, where one of the girls was stripping. "Are you sure?"

"We'd have it outside, but we want the Roadhouse to be the central place." Minato explained. Kimi shrugged, and agreed.

-0-

Kimi hears about the Kyuubi, and burns a candle for Minato and Kushina. She continues running her bar, and keeps the cash following. Many Konoha nin come, to drink their sorrows away, one being a grey haired masked boy, who she slips an extra drink to.

She keeps an ear to the ground, as time turns.

-0-

She's thirty when they come in, two men dressed in black cloaks with red clouds. One goes to the back, where the bounty office in, while the other orders a drink. She takes it to him, only to realize he has silver hair, as he looks into her eyes.

His loud 'Holy Shit!' attracts everyone's attention.

Her mother included.

-0-

Having a father doesn't change much, other then him taking an interest in how she handled money. Kakuzu and Hidan come in once in a while, to check up on her, as she gains more and more money.

There are a few close calls with Kakuzu eyeing one ninja or another, but they were generally few and far between. He'd wait till the guy was gone before he killed him.

Kimi wouldn't let anyone, not even her father, break her rules.

-0-

Her mother dies a month before the Uchiha massacre. Kakuzu attends the funeral, along with Hidan. Kimi shes no tears, as she stands above her mothers grave.

The woman was dead, no tears were needed.

-0-

By the time Kakashi comes in, with his students, the Roadhouse is the most well known operation in the Elemental Nations. Everyone has been there, and she knows that it will continue on after her death. She had made good use of her life.

"Kakashi." she greets the man, frowning. "Will they obey the rules?" she nods to his genin, and their client, who shuffles on his feet.

"Rules?" the pink haired one-Sakura-asks.

"This is no mans land. I don't care who you see in here, you don't attack them. I have seal arrays all around us to stop any form of attack." she looks at them firmly. "I also know Uchiha Itachi comes this way every few months. If he shows up, there will be no fights." The duck haired boy scowled at her angrily.

"I'll make sure there isn't any." he promises, clapping a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "But, do you know any rumors about who a man named Gato may have hired."

"...What's in it for me?" she asks, leaning on her bar, and staring at them. "I do run a buisness."

"I'll owe you a favor."

"You already owe me ten." she scoffed, before she nodded to the genin. "I want favors from them." Having a future medic nin oweing her a favor wasn't nothing to sneeze at, nor was having a future Sage something to forget. There was the Uchiha... but him oweing her something was good in the long run.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked rudely. She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm Kimi, the owner of the Roadhouse, and the most powerful civilian in the elemental countries. Piss me off, and I'll ruin your reputation faster then you can blink." Yep, this life wasn't a bad one for her, not at all.

* * *

I had no idea how to continue it... so yeah... if anyone wants to use her, go ahead. She's all yours, just tell me what you did with her and I'll keep an eye on your story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: ** Akatsuki Inserts

**Summery: **One shot series about inserts who are related to one of the Akatsuki members.

* * *

She isn't sure how this happened, nor is she sure how it began. All she remembers is taking the morning after pill, then it's a blur.

Is this a desert? How did she get here? Where is here anyway?

What the hell is going on?

-0-

She's half dead. She hasn't found any food, water or shelter in a week. God, she's drying up and she can't even fucking call her mom, can't say sorry, can't can't..

-0-

She opens her eyes to a rock celing, and a red haired male face.

"Am I dead?" she asks, reverting to Japanese, her mother's language, her first language.

"Not any more." the red head says, his eyes emtotionless.

-0-

A puppet.

She's a puppet, a living breathing (more or less) puppet.

And she was made into one, by Sasori. _Sasori. _

She's fairly certain her morning after pill had been swapped out by some conservative nut who doesn't believe in abortions.

-0-

Nope, she's still there. In a comic book world.

No, she doesn't care that it's called a manga, all she wants to do it bash her head into a wall.

She's trapped in a fantasy world, as the puppet of Sasori, his first human puppet creation that still lives.

And he's tasked her with helping him make himself into one.

-0-

She's always honored debts. You do her a favor, she does one back. So, she helps Sasori, building his body with him.

She still hears his screams from his self-castration. Really, it's rather frightening, to have it ring in her head.

His body is much nicer than hers, which clinks and sometimes gets stuck, but she deals with it. She plans on leaving as soon as he's in the recovery period. She's not stupid enough to think he'll let her live.

-0-

She slips away as soon as she can, heading far away. She's picked up enough woodcarving skills to help her with her body, as she replaces her joints, and adds a coat of varnish to darken the wood, making her look tan. She replaces her red hair with a brown wig she finds in a village on the border of the desert.

She hides herself in long dresses and scarves, hiding her hinged mouth, which she can't replace herself. The weapons Sasori hid in her, the ones he put in her for later, when she was dead, and the puppet body was left, she uses rarely. Only when she truly has need.

-0-

She calls herself Yuki, as she travels. She earns a name as a woodcarver, creating toys and such. It's a year or so later, when she joins up with a traveling merchant caravan, and becomes even better known.

She finds it peaceful, really, but a part of her knows that she needs to keep moving, needs to keep running.

She had grown fond of Sasori, but she was just a puppet to him. Just a simple puppet.

It kind of hurt.

-0-

She settles into Konoha after five years of travel. Why, she doesn't really know. She just wants to settle for a bit before she keeps moving on.

She meets a pink haired child one day, crying by herself on the playground. She watches for a minute, before she walks forward, stopping a blonde girl from approaching.

Everything changes then.

-0-

Sakura is a sweet child, very smart and noble. But it does take a good deal of talking to, and speaking with her parents- silk merchants- for her to make the girl understand that bullying is wrong no matter what. Just because someone is the punching bag of everyone else, does not mean you follow them.

Comparing her to Ami is a bit harsh, but she gets her point across.

-0-

"Yuki-chan!" two voices ring out through her shop, as she looks up from the marionette she was creating. Sakura had started dragging Naruto everyone- apparently changing out one blonde best friend for another- a few months after she spoke to her. It was actually nice, being spoken to by the children.

"Sakura-chan, Naruto-kun." She replies, her voice muffled by her scarf.

"I saw you use chakra strings," Sakura begins, staring right at her. "Can you teach us?" She'd picked it up watching Sasori, and just kind of developed her own way of using them. She wasn't an expert… but she could show them the basics.

"First off, precision is the key-"

-0-

Both of them are really good at it, though Naruto has this flair for creating puppets, rather than controlling them. Of course, with his control… yeah, no wonder. She had to force him to learn every single control exersise, before he stopped burning her practice puppets.

-0-

Really, with how curious kids are, she shouldn't be surprised they learned the truth. Of course, having them tackle her and yank down her scarf is not fun.

"I told you that you don't want to know." She says, as she bandages the wounds they had from her annoyance at their jump attack.

"What happened?"

"A man made me into what I am, and I ran when my debt was paid." Was the only response she ever gave.

-0-

She leaves a year later, changing her hair color, and placing a new coat of varnish on her body, after she'd arranged for it to look like a fire broke out in her home. She left scrolls for Sakura and Naruto to find, but that was it.

-0-

She forgot how amazing it was to live on the road, just traveling.

Of course, it has it's dangers, such as running into Sasori, who instantly knows it's her.

The fight was one sided, she isn't ashamed to admit to that.

"Nice to see you again." She remarked casually when he pinned her down, Orochimaru watching, looking bemused.

"Nice to see you as well." Sasori replied, before his tail stabbed her right through her heart.

Really, she knew it was coming down to that.

* * *

What? You expect him to let her live?! Come on, what if she'd captured and dissected to find out how she works? He wouldn't want his secrets out!

Merry Christmas, decided not to wait until I had the next chapter to post this as another gift.

Go check out Sneak Peeks, and tell me what you think, please.


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